I recently got a good review at work and it helped me start to course correct a dangerous internal narrative. For the last year of projects I’ve been on, I’ve heard: “you are a genius, but you have to work on your communication” – which in my brain translates to “we need to soften the blow of this feedback, but you are a piece of shit to work with”
Truth is, when you hear something enough times, you start to believe it. So I was just coming to terms with the fact that I’ll always be shitty to work with, when I got put on a team with some very nice people, including the rock-star Jr. PL who gave me this review.
We had lots of fun on the project and delivered value to the client, but the truth is, my contribution was minuscule compared to everyone else’s. When review time comes, it ends up being my best review yet and the negative feedback is that I go down rabbit holes (which I do), and that I sell myself short (which I just call brutal honesty).