Vegan Insomnia Beef in Ginger Sauce

August 16, 2020
quirky humor cooking quarantine

I’ve been going back and forth for a little while with my sister about trying to recreate a seitan ginger beef dish from a restaurant that we like in Vermont. It is a little tricky for me since I’ve never done a seitan beef before and because of the whole low FODMAP thing, but I finally decided to give it a try. After substituting pretty much every ingredient in the recipes I found, I finally created what I lovingly refer to as insomnia beef, since I associate eating it with not being the least bit tired (probably because of the high protein content and the cocoa nibs I threw in).

Oh, there is also the sweet and sour ginger sauce that I mostly stole from Mary’s test kitchen and the frying batter that I made from scavenging kitchen chemicals, but I’m not super proud of.

Okay, reasons to make this:

  1. it is quite tasty
  2. it gives you lots of energy
  3. if you like London broil

Reasons not to make this:

  1. trying to get to bed
  2. having trouble sleeping
  3. midnight snack

With that in mind…

Ingredients

(feel free to substitute whatever you want)

Insomnia Beef Seitan:

1 cup chickpeas 1 tbsp pea protein 2 tsp umami powder 1 tbsp cacao nibs 1.5 tbsp salt 0.5 cup water 0.25 cup smoked paprika 1 tsp of black pepper 1 tsp low FODMAP taco seasoning 2 tbsp low FODMAP tomato sauce 1.5 vital wheat gluten

Marinade:

2 tbsp olive oil 1 tsp white vinegar 1 tsp maple syrup

Fry batter:

Really, don’t make the batter like this, I’m just putting this part here to be funny, follow the instructions here instead.

a little bit of guar gum - because it is kinda like corn starch some PHGG - because the guar gum was too slimy on its own 2 tsp oat fiber - so the guar gum wouldn’t clump together bunch of panko - to cover up this mess some water - because I don’t think fried powder is any good

Sweet and Sour Ginger Sauce

I mostly followed Mary’s instructions here, the biggest difference is I only had powdered ginger and some powdered ghost pepper, and I couldn’t use onion because of the whole FODMAP thing.

1.5 cups white sugar 2 sprinkles smoked powdered ghost pepper 0.5 cup white sugar 0.33 cup white vinegar 0.25 cup light soy sauce 2 tablespoons panko

Instructions

First make the Beef (the day before):

  1. Food process, should be a bit crumbly
  2. Kneed into 1/2 inch steak, should be tough
  3. Steam for 30 mins, flip half way
  4. Cut like a London broil
  5. Mix in marinade and store in fridge over night

Now fry up the beef

  1. Heat up some oil in the pan
  2. Dip them in the batter goop
  3. Cover it up with the panko
  4. Drop it in the oil
  5. It may take a while for these babies to fry since they are pretty dense
  6. Once they are turning brown on both sides, use some tongs and scooch them over to a paper towel lined wire rack. If you’re like me and don’t have no fancy paper towel lined wire rack you can get creative and use the rack from your toaster oven (just take it out first).
  7. Carefully put the oil in a container and prepare yourself for some sauce making

The sauce

  1. Dump the ingredients in the pan on medium heat
  2. Stir it around so it doesn’t stick to the pan
  3. Let it reduce for a bit
  4. Plate the steak, pour the sauce over and enjoy! or barf, your choice really, I thought it tasted good

That’s all she wrote, I know you are wishing this post could be longer, but if the beef ends up keeping you up all night you can read through my past blog posts, or not, they are pretty boring and some of them probably haven’t aged well, might I suggest youtube or reddit.

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